The 7 Things I Hate About You… Yes You, Twitter!
I think we can all agree that Miley Cyrus is one of the most influential recording artists of our time. Probably.
So, in an homage to her and Ken Jones – and all those Top 10 (7?) lists out there on Twitter – here is my own list.
Yes Twitter, these are the seven things I hate about you…
- You’re vain, your games, you’re insecure – Let’s face it Twitter. Everyone on Twitter loves talking about Twitter. And why? Because we want to justify the amount of time we spend on it!
- You love me, you like her – I think that everyone is listening to me, but they’re not. They’re listening to everyone else. Damn you Twitter, you’ve made me your bitch!
- You make me laugh, you make me cry – Okay, so I haven’t cried yet but I know it’s not far away. The first time I see that Fail Whale I’m going to bawl my eyes out like a schoolgirl who just lost her Tweeting Barbie.
- I don’t know which side to buy – Do I Tweet because I want to learn about cool sites? Do I really want to know what a bunch of strangers are doing? Or do I Tweet because it fills up my otherwise empty life with ‘followers’ assuming that they’re also friends?
- Your friends, they’re jerks. When you act like them, just know it hurts – All those auto-DMers. I thought I had hundreds of friends, but they disappear as quickly as they appear. Is nothing what it seems? Bunch of fucking jerks.
- I wanna be with the one I know – Oh Twitter, bring me comfort. Bring me company on those cold winter evenings. Tell me that I’m yours and yours alone. Ruffle those sexy blue feathers and tell Tweetdeck to ‘coo’ me another message.
- And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do. You make me love you – Damn you Twitter. Damn you I say!
And I think that’s conclusive proof. About what I’m not sure, but thank God Miley isn’t on Twitter.
She’s not, is she?
Ranger, out.
